Your wife suffers a serious injury in a serious accident. Suddenly she needs help getting out of bed and going to the bathroom. Your father has a major stroke. He can’t return to his apartment because he won’t be able to manage on his own. You immediately become the caregiver.

Others of us become caregivers over a longer period.

Mom becomes increasingly forgetful. You used to call her every Sunday afternoon. These days you check in twice a week. Your husband develops Parkinson’s disease and becomes unable to drive on his own.

Whether caregiving begins suddenly or gradually, meeting its challenges involves tasks we haven’t thought about before. We may not know where to begin. We may not know how to go about finding help.

When we become caregivers, many of us begin to feel overwhelmed. We often believe it’s up to us to meet the challenge independently, believing that we are the only ones who can or should care for our loved one.

When we begin to feel that we’re the only ones who care, or who can care adequately, it’s time to take stock. Consider the following questions:

What skills will we need if we are to become effective caregivers?

What equipment will be need if we are to do the job correctly and avoid serious injury to ourselves?

Would our loved one receive better care if we were to hire someone else to perform these services?

Would we do better if we occasionally brought someone else in care for the loved one while we get some rest?

And what about the feelings that we’re alone … that no one else knows the challenges we are facing and the loneliness we may be feeling?

You are not the only person who has ever become a caregiver. Others in your situation have come together in support groups to help each other face their tasks.

Members of support groups tell their stories to each other. As we listen, we gain knowledge and confidence. We address fears and learn new skills. Above all, we discover that caregiving also brings joy and satisfaction.

Whether we become caregivers suddenly, or realize one morning that we have been caring for a loved one for some time, we can find new strength to carry on when we reach out to other caregivers.